The problem is that in many Indian families, many may still believe love comes after marriage.This is of course due to the arranged marriage which is prevalent among many segments of Indian society regardless of geography.The fact that an arranged marriage is actually preferred in many cases in India, and may even indeed be a healthy and happier form of love than the marriages experienced in the west comes as somewhat of a shock or at least a surprise to most.Many Indians look at marrying a person they don’t know, gives one “a lifetime to learn to love them”, as opposed to the American ideal of learning a person inside and out before entering into marriage.
Situations do change after marriage and through time.
Through the last fifteen years of being involved in the Indian community and interacting with many non-Indian, Western,and white women who struggle with relationships and commitments with their Indian boyfriends, I share the top three mistakes that most of these women make while trying to overcome the challenges of acceptance from their Indian boyfriend or to-be's family.
Many Americans hold an ideal that regardless of social standing, culture, economic status, educational background and religion, love will overcome all these problems and make everything ‘ok.’ This can be true if and only if the couple have extensive discussions before marriage about expectations after marriage and into the long term, such as both partners’ career aspirations, family planning, traditions, values, choosing the place to live among many other variables.
What I realized with Americans is that if you make out with them the way we do in Brazil, they get the wrong idea. ” He tried to sound really nice as he was asking me what was the point in “this.” So American, right? The first time I went on a date with an American guy I was so nervous because I felt like we had no intimacy whatsoever. For me, dating is meeting a 20 year-old that is a friend of a friend at a bar, thinking he’s cute, and then your friend making things happen. And then you still don’t go on a date, you say things like: “Everyone’s going to that bar on Friday, will you be there? It’s harder to meet people here — they’re anti-social.
I’m always scared that they’re going to assume that kissing is anything more than “I’m kind of interested in you.”The first guy I went out with here, while we were making out he asked me, “Should I get a condom? I hope so.” I don’t know why I would put myself through the experience of being forced to talk to someone, but not even knowing if you like them. And I don’t know if I want to hook up with anyone in my circles.