Also, as different people deal with situations differently, for some dating someone else immediately works as it serves as a distraction, while some prefer taking some time out for themselves.Irrespective of how ugly the relationship got towards the end, one must take at least some time out to deal with the repercussions of the breakup.You may feel nervous, lack confidence, and if you have children, the thought of having a new partner or dating again can seem overwhelming and much more complicated.But all of these feelings are completely normal, says Amanda.However, there’s nothing more futile than getting back into dating or a relationship before you’re emotionally ready. My mom has this saying, “The only time you should be dating is when you know you don’t need to be dating.” She’s a wise lady because it’s true.The only time you should be dating is when you’re already comfortable being single and hanging out solo.
“When you’ve gone from being ‘two’ to ‘one’ and you haven’t been alone for a very long time, it’s difficult to reformulate that sense of self and do things on your own – or with a stranger. ” Amanda says there’s also a bit of grief that comes with getting back on the dating cycle as well.“It can feel like you have to start all over again, and the routes you probably used when you were younger might not be open to you anymore.It doesn’t help that most of your friends are likely to be coupled up, so it’s not uncommon to feel isolated and unsure where to start.“I thought the recent strange behaviour and care with his phone was because he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary. “It was too complicated a set of feelings; the fury, the devastation, the rehashing of our lives together in the middle of the night, questioning every lovely moment we’d shared.It was a blur, but I emerged eight months later a stone heavier and feeling like I needed to do something to move on.” So Elizabeth tried online dating and, while she says it certainly had its frustrating moments, after eight months she met Andrew, 51 and they are planning to move in together in time for Christmas.