By Amy Rose Spiegel One of the most frequent Just Wondering questions we get here at Rookie is some variation on the following: “I’m a teenager and I’m thinking about dating/am intensely attracted to a person who’s significantly older than me. ” Well, as someone who not only has always been interested in older dudes, but has also dated quite a few of them, I have some things to say about your situation, question-askers.
When I was 15, I was dating a 28-year-old (cue gasping).
Initially when we met I completely ruled out the idea of dating him.
It wasn’t because I wasn’t attracted to him (I was!
We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.
With seniors, grad students, and working 20-somethings to swoon over, dating an older guy is an appealing option.
At the same time, some collegiettes love pursuing freshmen boys when they’re upperclass(wo)men: a younger guy’s carefree spirit is endearing, he probably doesn’t know your ex, and, let’s be honest, age is just a number when a gorgeous guy comes along.
I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl.
None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita.