If they lie to you and let you they’re single, abort mission.I should also remind about ‘lender awareness’ – do not allow yourself to be in a situation where you are sharing your man, whether it’s because you turn a blind eye to his cheating, or you keep letting him break up with you and then take him back once he’s got her/them out of his skin…which brings me neatly to… I will not spend my time waiting around, whether it’s for their calls, or for them to show up after they’ve disappeared, waiting for them to come back, waiting for them to turn into The Man I Think He Could/Should Be, or waiting for them to decide if they want to be with me – I’m not putting my life on hold for anyone.We ask ourselves, “How much can we do before I have to go to confession.” But if that’s the question we’re asking, the battle is already half lost. Partly because the farther we go, the harder it is to stop, both physically and emotionally. And the more we give our hearts, the more we want to give everything else. The ability to give ourselves, body and soul, to another is a tremendous gift. It’s one of the most beautiful and powerful ways in which we image God, who is self-gift.Most of us understand the physical part of the problem. A romantic kiss between a man and a woman – as opposed to a peck on the cheek – isn’t just a kiss. And when we understand just how very precious that gift is, the goal shouldn’t be to use it and abuse it as much as we possibly can without getting into trouble. As I explain in the book, avoidance has always been strongly recommended by those men and women who have “St.” before their name.For more information on this topic, check out "What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?" "5 Big Lies About Sex," "10 Ways to Practice Purity," "I Wish I Had Waited," and "Can You Become a Virgin Again? Well, we wanted to know what Christian students are saying about abstinence and sexual purity.You give clear-cut advice on physical parameters in a chaste relationship, and you write that “If you’re serious about embracing chastity, you have to become a bit of an old fuddy duddy.” You spell out situations to avoid: Drinking too much at parties, on dates, or during events out; talking too long and too late in the car; talking too long and too late anywhere; sleepovers; laying down together; kissing laying down; kissing sitting down; maybe even kissing standing up; not to mention kissing with any portion of your clothing removed. I’m just giving a list of situations that can become – or are – minefields for a couple trying to date chastely.Now, a couple of those situations listed are “avoid at all cost” – drinking too much, clothes off.
Even though love is not there from the outset, there is no excuse for someone not to treat you with care, trust, and respect. By the same token, if loving them means you can’t love you, always choose you.Even so, many of these same students miss the point about other types of sexual activity."Actually, I think foreplay makes you stronger," says Jenny, 17.The goal should be safeguarding the gift, protecting it as much as possible until we can use the gift the way God designed it to be used. That’s because avoiding temptation is a lot easier than running from it.If you’re running from it, you’ve already seen it, and its power to stop you dead in your tracks is immense. If you don’t buy or bake any, you’re not going to blow your diet. If you don’t put yourself in situations that can easily lead to sins against chastity, you’re going to have an awful hard time sinning against chastity. The book just came out a few weeks ago, so thus far no one has rolled their eyes to my face.